All Charles' Fault -- Again!
Aug. 20th, 2005 09:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saoneQ. What did I get in the mail today?
A. A Batman mini Batmobile with Batman & Robin (TIMMY! It's Tim, and not Dick, because he has teh cutest little staff) minimates.
*ahem*
SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!11!!!1!!!!!!
SQUEE
Did I mention the squee?
Anyway, as a thank you to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
j_crew_guy I present the following icon and fic-type-thing. Once again, it is all Charles' fault. *eg*
Luke Duke was not a man prone towards worrying--unless, of course, it was concerning Boss Hogg’s latest nefarious evil doings, or his newest conquest’s prowess with a shotgun. No, Luke was a simple man; a carefree man. But still, even a simple, carefree man had his limits.
It was time for something to be done.
Luke stood at the bottom of the staircase and looked up and down the hallway. He had left Bo, the source of all this trouble, outside preparing to once again give the General a bath. For once Luke was glad of Bo’s obsessive nature since it gave him a chance to talk to his other cousin in relative privacy--if he could just find her. “Daisy?” Luke bellowed.
“Shower.” An irritated feminine voice replied.
Luke marched to the bathroom. He wrenched open the shower curtain and glared at the sweaty blonde. “This has got to stop.”
Daisy rolled her eyes at her cousin’s theatrics. She gave the still a fond pat, collected her tools, and slid the false wall back into place before turning to face Luke. “Just what, prey tell, has got your unmentionables in such a twist?” She asked. “Oh! Did you find out about what Bobbie Sue’s boyfriend from Atlanta said he was going to do to you?”
“No, I -- Bobbie Sue has a boyfriend? Oh, that’s not good.”
Daisy nodded sagely and elbowed her way past Luke and out of the bathroom.
Deciding potentially murderous boyfriends could be freaked out over later, Luke followed Daisy down the hall and into the kitchen. “It’s about Bo. And the General.”
Daisy suddenly felt a headache start to form. “Oh Lord, grant me strength.” She muttered as she stashed her tools under the sink.
Luke had prepared himself for her reaction. He had figured getting the rest of the family to see the truth would be an uphill battle. “I know you and Uncle Jesse think I’m overreacting, but I’m not, I swear!”
“Luke--”
“I consider myself to be an open-minded individual. I don’t care about guys with guys, or girls with girls-“
“As long as you get to watch, right?” Daisy asked with a wink.
“Ha. And… um… ooh… What was I saying?” Luke shook his head. “Anyway, I wouldn’t give a rip if Bo decided to shack up with a gay guy, or some lesbian, but dammit Daisy, I draw the line at inanimate objects!” He looked beseechingly at his cousin. “It just ain’t natural.”
“Luke,” Daisy gathered as much patience as she could. “Bo is not having an affair with the General Lee.”
“Yes He Is!”
“Would you stop and listen to yourself?”
“You haven’t seen him.” Luke said. “The way he fawns over it. The way he pets it. The way he whispers sweet nothings against the steering wheel.” Luke grimaced. “Sick and wrong, Daisy! It’s sick and wrong!”
“Oh, my…” Daisy grinned. “You’re jealous.”
“What?”
“Jealous. Bo’s always spent a lot of time with the General, but ever since it got all spiffed up he and that car have been dang near inseparable. You’re jealous.”
“I am not jealous.”
“Right. And folks always assumed if you ever broke the laws of god and man it’d be with me.”
“What? No, wait, WHAT?!”
Daisy snickered. She was about to continue teasing her now befuddled and slightly disturbed cousin when Uncle Jesse banged in through the kitchen door with an armful of empty mason jars.
“Hellfire and tarnation!” The old man deposited his load on the table, and wiped his weary brow with a rag that had seen better decades. “Do you have any idea what that cousin of yours was doing out in the yard?”
“Last I saw he was gearing up to wash the General. Again.” Luke said.
“That’s right, he’s washing the General, and wearing nothing but a pair of shorty shorts.” Uncle Jesse glanced at a wide-eyed Daisy. “You might want to check your closet. “The old man settled himself into a chair. “I’m not even going to mention what he was doing with the hose.”
“Ha!” Luke exclaimed. “Finally, someone else who sees that we’ve got a problem here. So, Uncle Jesse, I was thinking maybe an intervention-“
“Intervention?” The old man was alarmed. “You’re gonna try and take away my still?”
“No!” Luke said. “I would never -- I meant an intervention for Bo.”
“Why would Bo need an intervention?”
“Because of the car.”
Uncle Jesse squinted at his nephew. “Boy, have you been dipping into the merchandise again?”
“No. Maybe. A little bit.” Luke cleared his throat. “But what about the General, and the, the shorty shorts?”
“I handled it.” Uncle Jesse said.
“You handled it?”
“That’s right. I told him that if wanted to have sex with his car to do it in the barn, lest he give the other vehicles ideas.”
“Oh.” Luke really didn’t quite know what else to say to that.
“Um, Uncle Jesse?” Daisy’s voice was unusually timid. “What exactly was Bo doing with the hose?”
A. A Batman mini Batmobile with Batman & Robin (TIMMY! It's Tim, and not Dick, because he has teh cutest little staff) minimates.
*ahem*
SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!11!!!1!!!!!!
SQUEE
Did I mention the squee?
Anyway, as a thank you to
j_crew_guy I present the following icon and fic-type-thing. Once again, it is all Charles' fault. *eg*Luke Duke was not a man prone towards worrying--unless, of course, it was concerning Boss Hogg’s latest nefarious evil doings, or his newest conquest’s prowess with a shotgun. No, Luke was a simple man; a carefree man. But still, even a simple, carefree man had his limits.
It was time for something to be done.
Luke stood at the bottom of the staircase and looked up and down the hallway. He had left Bo, the source of all this trouble, outside preparing to once again give the General a bath. For once Luke was glad of Bo’s obsessive nature since it gave him a chance to talk to his other cousin in relative privacy--if he could just find her. “Daisy?” Luke bellowed.
“Shower.” An irritated feminine voice replied.
Luke marched to the bathroom. He wrenched open the shower curtain and glared at the sweaty blonde. “This has got to stop.”
Daisy rolled her eyes at her cousin’s theatrics. She gave the still a fond pat, collected her tools, and slid the false wall back into place before turning to face Luke. “Just what, prey tell, has got your unmentionables in such a twist?” She asked. “Oh! Did you find out about what Bobbie Sue’s boyfriend from Atlanta said he was going to do to you?”
“No, I -- Bobbie Sue has a boyfriend? Oh, that’s not good.”
Daisy nodded sagely and elbowed her way past Luke and out of the bathroom.
Deciding potentially murderous boyfriends could be freaked out over later, Luke followed Daisy down the hall and into the kitchen. “It’s about Bo. And the General.”
Daisy suddenly felt a headache start to form. “Oh Lord, grant me strength.” She muttered as she stashed her tools under the sink.
Luke had prepared himself for her reaction. He had figured getting the rest of the family to see the truth would be an uphill battle. “I know you and Uncle Jesse think I’m overreacting, but I’m not, I swear!”
“Luke--”
“I consider myself to be an open-minded individual. I don’t care about guys with guys, or girls with girls-“
“As long as you get to watch, right?” Daisy asked with a wink.
“Ha. And… um… ooh… What was I saying?” Luke shook his head. “Anyway, I wouldn’t give a rip if Bo decided to shack up with a gay guy, or some lesbian, but dammit Daisy, I draw the line at inanimate objects!” He looked beseechingly at his cousin. “It just ain’t natural.”
“Luke,” Daisy gathered as much patience as she could. “Bo is not having an affair with the General Lee.”
“Yes He Is!”
“Would you stop and listen to yourself?”
“You haven’t seen him.” Luke said. “The way he fawns over it. The way he pets it. The way he whispers sweet nothings against the steering wheel.” Luke grimaced. “Sick and wrong, Daisy! It’s sick and wrong!”
“Oh, my…” Daisy grinned. “You’re jealous.”
“What?”
“Jealous. Bo’s always spent a lot of time with the General, but ever since it got all spiffed up he and that car have been dang near inseparable. You’re jealous.”
“I am not jealous.”
“Right. And folks always assumed if you ever broke the laws of god and man it’d be with me.”
“What? No, wait, WHAT?!”
Daisy snickered. She was about to continue teasing her now befuddled and slightly disturbed cousin when Uncle Jesse banged in through the kitchen door with an armful of empty mason jars.
“Hellfire and tarnation!” The old man deposited his load on the table, and wiped his weary brow with a rag that had seen better decades. “Do you have any idea what that cousin of yours was doing out in the yard?”
“Last I saw he was gearing up to wash the General. Again.” Luke said.
“That’s right, he’s washing the General, and wearing nothing but a pair of shorty shorts.” Uncle Jesse glanced at a wide-eyed Daisy. “You might want to check your closet. “The old man settled himself into a chair. “I’m not even going to mention what he was doing with the hose.”
“Ha!” Luke exclaimed. “Finally, someone else who sees that we’ve got a problem here. So, Uncle Jesse, I was thinking maybe an intervention-“
“Intervention?” The old man was alarmed. “You’re gonna try and take away my still?”
“No!” Luke said. “I would never -- I meant an intervention for Bo.”
“Why would Bo need an intervention?”
“Because of the car.”
Uncle Jesse squinted at his nephew. “Boy, have you been dipping into the merchandise again?”
“No. Maybe. A little bit.” Luke cleared his throat. “But what about the General, and the, the shorty shorts?”
“I handled it.” Uncle Jesse said.
“You handled it?”
“That’s right. I told him that if wanted to have sex with his car to do it in the barn, lest he give the other vehicles ideas.”
“Oh.” Luke really didn’t quite know what else to say to that.
“Um, Uncle Jesse?” Daisy’s voice was unusually timid. “What exactly was Bo doing with the hose?”
