Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Title: The Security Team is Not a Lending Library
Series: Killer Romance aka The Adventures of crimeboss!Jared and ex-assassin!Jensen
Author: saone77
Summary: AU. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't a sniper watching you from the shadows.
Characters: J2 and a couple of Losers
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware.
Word Count: 1639
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: Yes, the new characters in this fic are exactly who you think they are. More crossover/fusion-type stuff FTW!



( Is an inanimate object telling you to kill everyone in the house? Because, if so, I think we might need to break out the restraints. And not the fun restraints, the real restraints. )

Title: In Search Of... Fresh Meat
Author: saone77
Summary: AU. Jensen doesn't think finding a new cameraman should be harder than finding a cryptid, but Jared's never been one for going the traditional route.
Pairing: pre-J2 with a pining-ish Jensen and oblivious Jared
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware.
Word Count: 1372
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: I've always wanted some J2AU monster hunter fic, and five chapters into Josh Gate's Destination Truth: Memoirs of a Monster Hunter (based on one of my favorite television shows ever), I put down the book to write this. There will probably be more, at some point.


( Remember that time you thought you were reaching for a vine but nearly grabbed a handful of pit viper instead? )

Title: Where the Love Light Gleams
Author: saone77
Summary: AU. Jensen knows he's slightly (or mostly) Grinch-ish. When his family members make other plans for Christmas, he's more than okay with a peaceful and relaxing holiday alone. However, Jared - neighbor, BFF, and object of Jensen's unrequited affections for two years running - thinks that's a horrible idea, and he becomes tenaciously committed to making sure Jensen's in good company on Christmas. Luckily for Jensen, Jared's motive is less than altruistic.
Characters: J2 and various CW/Leverage folks.
Rating: PG
Warnings: An ending sappier than a Christmas tree
Word Count: 5216
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: Written for unplugged32 for the spn_j2_xmas exchange. I tried to combine parts from a couple different prompts, sprinkled in some angst, and then topped it off with a big helping of happy ending. Hope you like it. :D Big thanks go to dracodion, wirrrn, and cappy712 for the look throughs and betaing.





(  Dude, this scenario is what crappy Hallmark movies are made of. He'll take you home; through family, and mistletoe, and shit you'll discover the true meaning of the season; your heart will grow three sizes, and then you'll fall in love. Problem solved. Case closed. Big, gay wedding shortly to follow. )

Happy Halloween everybody! :D


In honour of All Hallow's Eve, I'm inviting trick-or-treaters to my 'door.' Comment "trick-or-treat" to this post and...well, you know the drill. Treats can be anything that strikes my fancy (pics of fave actors or pairings, one sentence fics, graphics, a few words why I'm glad to have you on my flist, etc. etc.). The more "houses" to visit the more fun it'll be, so go ahead, open your journal and help spread the fun!

I've been thinking of doing a comment meme for a while now, and what better night than my favorite holiday?

So, comment and let me know what you'd like to see whether it's a pairing, a prompt, or a timestamp for an existing fic. Now, keep in mind that I might not get to everything until Christmas, but I promise to give everyone at least a little something. :D





Dork Reign: Candy and Comics (J2) for oleanderbat

Move This: The Perks and Pitfalls (J2) for ladygreytowers

Captain America: Not the Time (Steve/Bucky) for wirrrn

Killer Romance: Hunting (J2) for gypsy_atavari

Supernatural/Torchwood: Herding Cats (Jack/Ianto) for reena_jenkins

A Divine Affair: The Meeting (J2) for aythia

Dork Reign: Prelude to a Double Date (J2, Aldis/Beth) for xcziel

The Avengers: Why You Should Never Ask Tony to Pick Out Your Costume for gemini8

Title: In the Beginning
Series: Killer Romance aka The Adventures of crimeboss!Jared and ex-assassin!Jensen
Author: saone77
Summary: AU. All love stories have to start somewhere.
Characters: J2 and a cast of thousands... or dozens
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware.
Word Count: 4232
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: A little over a year ago I responded to this prompt over on spnkink_meme. Somehow, that first little fic blossomed into this whole universe thing with so many characters to play with, and so many stories to tell, I can't help but think I've just scratched the surface. Anyway, this particular story is one that's been asked about a lot, so here it is, finally. This is dedicated to everyone who's hopped on-board this crazy train in the past year. Thanks so much, and there's more to come.



( Individually, Jared and the other people in this room were some of the baddest asses on the planet. Like Bond-villain-type mofos. )

Title: Move This
Author: saone77
Summary: Jensen really loves being a stripper, but there are pitfalls that come with the job - like the big, gorgeous bouncer who only seems to pay attention to Jensen when he's writhing around on stage, or the creepy regulars who can't seem to understand that dancer doesn't equal hooker. Still, it's pretty sweet, until one night when Jensen has a run in with a couple of "fans" in the club's parking lot. Luckily, Jensen has a few skills up his sleeve, and that bouncer might be paying closer attention than he thought.
Characters: J2 and various other CW people
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware. Potential (but not really) non-con
Word Count: 7026
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: Written for blindfold_spn using this prompt. Now with about 4,000 more words of schmoop and porn.


(  Jensen grits his teeth and thinks about how breaking fingers would be bad for business.  )

Title: Repercussions
Series: Killer Romance aka The Adventures of crimeboss!Jared and ex-assassin!Jensen
Author: saone77
Summary: AU. You really shouldn't fuck with Jensen's boyfriend.
Characters: J2, and some Losers, and a Chad.
Rating: R
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware. Violence, death of unnamed goons, references to Jensen's 'work', though nothing onscreen.
Word Count: 2609
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: This is quite a bit darker than previous installments, but the last part was rather shmoopy, so maybe I'm just evening things out. ;)



( Jared's still stuck to the chair so all he can do is kind of wriggle with glee as he watches his badass boyfriend )

Title: Creature Feature (2/2)
Author: saone77
Summary: Something hungry is lurking in Lake Winchester.
Rating: R
Warnings: Minor character death (somebody has to be monster-bait), descriptions of gore, wonky science.
Word Count: 20,204
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Beta: Thanks go to wirrrn for the look-through - and not frothing too badly at the Hollywood-izing of the 'monster' - and aythia for assuring me that this wasn't a huge, incomprehensible mess. ;) All mistakes are mine.
Notes: Written for spn_cinema, this fic is based on one of my favorite comfort movies of all time - Lake Placid. It's a modern version of a fifties style Creature Feature, and worth a viewing by anyone who likes monster movies, humor with their horror, or Betty White being fabulous.


Part 1
Part 2


Dreamwidth
Ao3



( We're going to need a bigger boat. )

Title: Apple Wine
Author: saone77
Summary: A little misdirection can mean a sweet ending.
Pairings: Jensen/Jared
Fandom: RPF
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware.
Word Count: 898
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: Written for the wine square on my Schmoop Bingo card.





( We are on a road, right? This is a road I'm driving on, isn't it? )

Title: Still Better Than Chocolates
Series: Killer Romance aka The Adventures of crimeboss!Jared and ex-assassin!Jensen
Author: saone77
Summary: AU. Jensen's heart is in the right place.
Characters: J2 and two Losers
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware.
Word Count: 2475
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: This takes place exactly one year after the first Better Than Chocolates.


( Jensen, you do know what Monday is, right? )