J2 Killer Romance Fic: Bah Humbug 1/1
Mar. 10th, 2011 03:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saoneTitle: Bah Humbug
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
saone77
Summary: A Killer Romance timestamp. The first Christmas as a couple always has a few - or a lot - of speedbumps.
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Fandom: RPF (Killer Romance 'verse)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware. Some religious talk.
Word Count: 935
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: Written for the holiday - different traditions square on my Schmoop Bingo card.
Jared is not happy. Which is a crime, seriously. It's Christmastime and he's warm, and well-fed, and surrounded by pretty, shiny, glittery baubles. The smell of baking yummyness is drifting up from the kitchen and competing with the heady scent of the various trees and garlands liberally placed around the house. There's a half-finished rum cake on the coffee table in front of him beside a cute gathering of holiday plushies, plates upon plates of adorably decorated sugar cookies off on a sideboard, and a Charlie Brown special muted on the television. And, most importantly, for the first time ever there's a beautiful boyfriend - a real one, not someone he's had to hire, or someone working undercover for the feds - sitting beside him on his - no, their - couch.
Unfortunately, it's that final piece of Jared's dream holiday tableau that's causing him consternation.
"What do you mean, you don't do Christmas?" Jared asks, frowning.
Jensen's mouth thins. The undercurrent of tension that's been present in him since he got back from the spa and seen the house's yuletide makeover ratchets up a few thousand notches. "I mean I don't do Christmas. The," he waves a hand towards the tree, "and the," he motions at the cookies, "and the," his eyes look up at the mistletoe hanging off the chandelier, "and that," he points accusingly at the television.
"You don't like Snoopy!" Jared's never been more horrified. How could he possibly be head over heels in love with a man who doesn't like Snoopy?
Jensen sighs. "Its not that I don't like... I like Snoopy just fine."
Jared relaxes just a smidge.
"It's just... Christmas doesn't mean anything to me. Sure, I usually didn't take any jobs around this time of year, but I figured that was just being polite. It used to mean something, I guess, when I was little." An odd expression passes over Jensen's face. "But I'm an adult now. I don't believe in fairy tales, and I haven't been to Sunday School in a very long time."
Jared tries to imagine a kid version of Jensen in Sunday School. It doesn't take. Logically he knows that Jensen must have been a child at some point, that he had parents and a home, but there's a pretty obvious minefield surrounding that unacknowledged past. Jared doesn't know if he's brave enough to risk any explosions just yet. Instead, he decides to bring up his own reason for celebrating the holiday.
"You're talking to a lapsed Catholic here, man. And, okay, technically Christmas is about religion, but... with all I've seen, and all I've done, and what I've figured out about myself and my life, I don't think that aspect applies to me anymore." He takes a deep breath. "But that doesn't matter. What does matter is being in a nice, warm house, surrounded by people I care about - even if they are thieves and killers. To me, putting up decorations, and having special food around celebrates the family and home I've made for myself." Jared wills Jensen to understand.
Jensen's silent, but the little crease between his eyebrows says he's thinking. "I get it."
Jared relaxes a bit more.
"And I think I'm gonna head out for a bit," Jensen says softly.
"A bit?"
"Just until the first of the year."
Jared tenses all over again. Jensen obviously does not get it.
"Oh," Jared says. He absentmindedly reaches over, plucks a stuffed Rudolph off the coffee table, and then clutches the animal to his chest. "I see." He swallows. "I'll have everything taken down by tomorrow." Rudolph lets out a squeak as Jared's hands spasm around him.
"Jared, no." Jensen shakes his head firmly. "I don't want you do to that. This stuff is important to you."
"Not as important as you are."
It's simple, and honest, and the absolute truth, and Jensen looks slightly floored.
"You'd do that," Jensen says, stating the facts. "You'd give this up for me?"
"'Course. I'm not gonna throw it out. I'm sure I can find someplace that'll take everything, like a nursing home, or... maybe I can turn it into a tax write off."
"I don't know if someone in your position should try and get creative with his taxes," Jensen says wryly.
"Yeah, maybe not." Rudolph squeaks again.
Jensen sighs and extricates the toy from Jared's death-grip. He then maneuvers himself into Jared's lap. Jared's a bit surprised, but his arms reflexively wrap around his boyfriend.
"I don't do Christmas," Jensen says again, "but you do. You really do." He looks heavenward. "I've fallen in love with a giant marshmallow."
Jared's heart skips a few beats at Jensen's mention of the 'L' word. "I ate a lot of Peeps as a kid," he says, his voice rough.
"So, you're saying the toxicity of pure sugar wrapped in more sugar which is then dyed noxious pastel colors changed the structure of your DNA?" Jensen rolls his hips in a very distracting way.
"Um..." Jared fidgets. "What?"
Jensen laughs and the look on his face is filled with such fondness. His hand cups the side of Jared's face. "Don't change," he says.
"The decorations?"
Jensen laughs again. "Anything."
"But you-"
"Have issues." Jensen's eyes dim. "A lot of issues. You gonna help me with that?"
"Can Chef keep making us cookies?"
"Yes."
"And we can keep the tree?"
"Yes."
"And the mistletoe?"
"As long as I'm the only one you ever try catching under it."
Jared smiles slyly. "Can we go caroling?" He bites back a curse as his nose is rather roughly tweaked.
"Don't push it."
_____________
end
Author:
saone77Summary: A Killer Romance timestamp. The first Christmas as a couple always has a few - or a lot - of speedbumps.
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Fandom: RPF (Killer Romance 'verse)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware. Some religious talk.
Word Count: 935
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: Written for the holiday - different traditions square on my Schmoop Bingo card.
Jared is not happy. Which is a crime, seriously. It's Christmastime and he's warm, and well-fed, and surrounded by pretty, shiny, glittery baubles. The smell of baking yummyness is drifting up from the kitchen and competing with the heady scent of the various trees and garlands liberally placed around the house. There's a half-finished rum cake on the coffee table in front of him beside a cute gathering of holiday plushies, plates upon plates of adorably decorated sugar cookies off on a sideboard, and a Charlie Brown special muted on the television. And, most importantly, for the first time ever there's a beautiful boyfriend - a real one, not someone he's had to hire, or someone working undercover for the feds - sitting beside him on his - no, their - couch.
Unfortunately, it's that final piece of Jared's dream holiday tableau that's causing him consternation.
"What do you mean, you don't do Christmas?" Jared asks, frowning.
Jensen's mouth thins. The undercurrent of tension that's been present in him since he got back from the spa and seen the house's yuletide makeover ratchets up a few thousand notches. "I mean I don't do Christmas. The," he waves a hand towards the tree, "and the," he motions at the cookies, "and the," his eyes look up at the mistletoe hanging off the chandelier, "and that," he points accusingly at the television.
"You don't like Snoopy!" Jared's never been more horrified. How could he possibly be head over heels in love with a man who doesn't like Snoopy?
Jensen sighs. "Its not that I don't like... I like Snoopy just fine."
Jared relaxes just a smidge.
"It's just... Christmas doesn't mean anything to me. Sure, I usually didn't take any jobs around this time of year, but I figured that was just being polite. It used to mean something, I guess, when I was little." An odd expression passes over Jensen's face. "But I'm an adult now. I don't believe in fairy tales, and I haven't been to Sunday School in a very long time."
Jared tries to imagine a kid version of Jensen in Sunday School. It doesn't take. Logically he knows that Jensen must have been a child at some point, that he had parents and a home, but there's a pretty obvious minefield surrounding that unacknowledged past. Jared doesn't know if he's brave enough to risk any explosions just yet. Instead, he decides to bring up his own reason for celebrating the holiday.
"You're talking to a lapsed Catholic here, man. And, okay, technically Christmas is about religion, but... with all I've seen, and all I've done, and what I've figured out about myself and my life, I don't think that aspect applies to me anymore." He takes a deep breath. "But that doesn't matter. What does matter is being in a nice, warm house, surrounded by people I care about - even if they are thieves and killers. To me, putting up decorations, and having special food around celebrates the family and home I've made for myself." Jared wills Jensen to understand.
Jensen's silent, but the little crease between his eyebrows says he's thinking. "I get it."
Jared relaxes a bit more.
"And I think I'm gonna head out for a bit," Jensen says softly.
"A bit?"
"Just until the first of the year."
Jared tenses all over again. Jensen obviously does not get it.
"Oh," Jared says. He absentmindedly reaches over, plucks a stuffed Rudolph off the coffee table, and then clutches the animal to his chest. "I see." He swallows. "I'll have everything taken down by tomorrow." Rudolph lets out a squeak as Jared's hands spasm around him.
"Jared, no." Jensen shakes his head firmly. "I don't want you do to that. This stuff is important to you."
"Not as important as you are."
It's simple, and honest, and the absolute truth, and Jensen looks slightly floored.
"You'd do that," Jensen says, stating the facts. "You'd give this up for me?"
"'Course. I'm not gonna throw it out. I'm sure I can find someplace that'll take everything, like a nursing home, or... maybe I can turn it into a tax write off."
"I don't know if someone in your position should try and get creative with his taxes," Jensen says wryly.
"Yeah, maybe not." Rudolph squeaks again.
Jensen sighs and extricates the toy from Jared's death-grip. He then maneuvers himself into Jared's lap. Jared's a bit surprised, but his arms reflexively wrap around his boyfriend.
"I don't do Christmas," Jensen says again, "but you do. You really do." He looks heavenward. "I've fallen in love with a giant marshmallow."
Jared's heart skips a few beats at Jensen's mention of the 'L' word. "I ate a lot of Peeps as a kid," he says, his voice rough.
"So, you're saying the toxicity of pure sugar wrapped in more sugar which is then dyed noxious pastel colors changed the structure of your DNA?" Jensen rolls his hips in a very distracting way.
"Um..." Jared fidgets. "What?"
Jensen laughs and the look on his face is filled with such fondness. His hand cups the side of Jared's face. "Don't change," he says.
"The decorations?"
Jensen laughs again. "Anything."
"But you-"
"Have issues." Jensen's eyes dim. "A lot of issues. You gonna help me with that?"
"Can Chef keep making us cookies?"
"Yes."
"And we can keep the tree?"
"Yes."
"And the mistletoe?"
"As long as I'm the only one you ever try catching under it."
Jared smiles slyly. "Can we go caroling?" He bites back a curse as his nose is rather roughly tweaked.
"Don't push it."
_____________
end
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 09:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 11:10 pm (UTC)They're totally gone for each other
Yep. No matter what, at its core, this is definitely a love story. An occasionally violent, bloody, and disturbing love story, but love story nonetheless. ;D
no subject
Date: 2011-03-11 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-11 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-11 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-11 04:28 pm (UTC)It's funny, I think I knew that from very beginning - even though the original prompt didn't necessarily call for it - and in each subsequent story it just gets reinforced. I guess this is just what happens when one of a hopeless romantic's favorite movies is Kill Bill.
unhinged but totally twitterpated.
That's awesome. Now, I'm kind of upset that I didn't choose that for the name of the series. ;D
no subject
Date: 2011-03-12 11:50 am (UTC)There's got to be more to the story of these two... right? Hehe.
*bribes with cookies* :-)
no subject
Date: 2011-03-12 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-11 03:14 am (UTC)Awwwww, killers with holiday issues - Can I love how Jensen is so sweetly shocked that Jared would give up all his holiday fripperies for him? So sweet!
I love how Jared is such a goof about Christmas. It's hilarious!
I love that you keep adding to this 'verse!
no subject
Date: 2011-03-12 05:39 pm (UTC)I can't help it! ;D This universe (which I still blame you for, btw) and the characters in it are just so much fun to play with. I have a feeling this is going to be one of those series I keep coming back to for a long, long time.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-11 05:41 am (UTC)Hee! Love Xmas sappy Jared and Grinch Jensen. I totally agree with Jensen about the plushies, but with Jared about the sugar cookies :)
no subject
Date: 2011-03-12 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-11 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-12 10:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-12 05:45 pm (UTC){Rudolph lets out a squeak as Jared's hands spasm around him.}
Awwwwww, poor Jared. and poor Rudolph. ROTFL
no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 03:46 pm (UTC)Thank you! :D
I kind of adore how these two, along with the others, have come into focus over the course of the series. It's funny, because 'unhinged and twitterpated' (thank you,
no subject
Date: 2011-03-13 02:16 am (UTC)Just thought you should know.
Also, NEVER STOP WRITING THEM. They are adorable and I want to smish them <3 and then run away because who knows how well they'd take it...
no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 03:48 pm (UTC)Ha! Duly noted. ;D
They are adorable and I want to smish them <3 and then run away because who knows how well they'd take it...
I think it would depend on who you smish, and the duration of the smish, and if you are on the smishee's exception list. ;D
no subject
Date: 2011-03-13 03:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-16 12:38 am (UTC)I love this verse so much, and they're all messed up and quite clearly insane and it's just peeeerfect. I kinda want a prequel though...I want to know more about the time everyone just though Jensen was cute and got fucked :p
no subject
Date: 2011-03-16 05:52 pm (UTC)I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with Jensen's history. I already have plans for a little bit of his past to be explored - by a new, but familiar, guest star - and I'm probably going to touch on it a bit more as the series progresses. ;D
no subject
Date: 2011-03-16 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-20 05:51 pm (UTC)LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-21 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-06 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-16 09:00 pm (UTC)Wouldn't mind seeing these two again one day.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-17 06:26 am (UTC)I have to
blamecreditWouldn't mind seeing these two again one day.
I've got a couple of things in the works. Everything was put on hold for my spn_cinema fic, but I might need to dust these boys off and play with them for a bit.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-17 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-17 06:21 am (UTC)Probably with lots of food/candy, and Jensen acting far more annoyed than he actually is. And possibly bloodshed, but no more scooped out body parts - that's just way too messy. ;D
no subject
Date: 2011-05-31 03:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-15 05:33 pm (UTC)♥♥♥
Hey, will you ever write how they met?
no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 08:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-13 06:24 pm (UTC)"A bit?"
"Just until the first of the year."..
"Oh," Jared says. He absentmindedly reaches over, plucks a stuffed Rudolph off the coffee table, and then clutches the animal to his chest. "I see." He swallows. "I'll have everything taken down by tomorrow." Rudolph lets out a squeak as Jared's hands spasm around him."
*Frowns at you*
should NOT make me want to pat Crime lords and Assassins on their twittery little pates
no subject
Date: 2011-11-16 12:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-21 04:49 pm (UTC)