saone | Avengers xover Fic: The Not So New Adventures of the Old Phil Coulson 1/1

Title: The Not So New Adventures of the Old Phil Coulson
Author:

saone77
Pairing: pre Clint/Richard (Coulson)
Fandoms: The Avengers (movie 'verse) & The New Adventures of Old Christine
Summary: After surviving Loki's attack, Phil Coulson is ~~burned~~ retired and Richard Campbell is forced to return full time to his old life and his ex-wife. If only there was some archery-loving Avenger around to rescue him.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Major plot points for the movie
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware.
Word Count: 1825
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: I didn't know I needed this crossover, but I think my life is a little richer for it.
Written for this prompt at

avengerkink, this fic is a strange combination of crack and angst. Crangst? Also, it's best to not try and make this fit with any timelines.

Richard's been back at his old new life for almost ten months when he gets the unsettling sensation that he's being watched. The skin across the back of his neck prickles, and it takes everything he has to keep his expression placid and his eyes locked on Richie as he runs back and forth across the field.

Logically, Richard's always known that the odds of someone finding him are higher than Fury would have liked to believe, but it would have been nice if it hadn't happened at one of his son's soccer games.

Richard waits a few more minutes, and when the feeling of being watched doesn't go away, he turns slightly in his chair. As he reaches for the water bottle on the ground next to him, his eyes scan the crowd. Most of the people he sees are other parents or family members he recognizes from previous games. No one sticks out. But Phil never used to stick out either.

Then, when he's about to turn back around, Richard spots him. The figure is standing a bit away from the rest of the crowd. His head is turned toward the game, and Richard can't fully make out his features. But it doesn't matter; Richard would know him anywhere.

Clint.

Richard feels his heart lurch painfully. His emotions are a jumble of sadness, and regret, and a tiny bit of elation because it's so good to see him, even from a distance. Even though Richard knows he's going to have to spend the next however many years groveling for Clint's forgiveness.

Richard is about to get up and walk over when Clint's gaze shifts and their eyes meet. The tiny bit of elation is snuffed out completely. Clint looks haggard. And haunted.

From one blink to the next, Clint has turned and is walking away. Richard is out of his chair and moving before he even realizes it. He can hear Christine, and Barb, and Matthew calling him, but his focus is all on catching up to the man who's swiftly leaving him behind. Richard knows with a horrific certainty that if he loses track of Clint today, he'll never see the younger man again except in pictures.

Richard breaks out into a run. He's not supposed to exert himself that much yet; he's still healing after all. A stitch forms in his side, but he pushes through it.

"Clint," he calls out. "Wait! Please!"

Clint falters, but he doesn't stop moving.

Richard goes another few steps before a sharp pain in his chest pulls him up short. He gasps and rubs at the ache. Suddenly, strong hands grab his biceps. Clint is there, right there, holding onto him.

"Are you okay?" Clint asks. "Do you need to get to a hospital?"

Richard coughs a bit. "No. I'll be all right. I'm just... I'm not used to that level of activity yet." Richard can tell Clint's going to let go of him, so he reaches out and twists his hand in the light jacket Clint's wearing. "Please don't go. Stay. Please."

"I can't..." Clint grimaces. "This was a mistake. Nat told me not to come. I should have listened. I'm sorry."

"No!" Richard tightens his grip. "Don't ever listen to Natasha. Ever. She gives awful advice."

"Phil, I-"

"Richard?" It's Christine. Of course it's Christine. "Richard, what's going on?"

Clint tries to pull away. Richard holds on with everything he has.

"It's okay," Richard says, turning his head to face his first family. It's just Christine and Matthew, Barb must have stayed at the game with Richie.

"Who's this?" Christine asks. Her eyes are narrowed and her jaw's set. Richard doesn't know if she's reacting to the tension between him and Clint, or if she's just upset that she felt compelled to leave the game to check up on him.

"This is-"

"I'm Aaron," Clint says. "Richard and I used to work together."

Matthew raises an eyebrow. "Work together. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

Clint immediately drops his hands from Richard's arms. Richard tugs so hard on Clint's jacket that he thinks he hears a seam rip.

"Guys," Richard says, "can you just..."

Matthew, bless him, nods and tugs at Christine's arm. "Come on. Let's go back to the game."

"What? No."

"Yes. Come on."

"Matthew, I don't think we should leave-"

"Yes, we should. Come on." Matthew gets a better grip on Christine and practically pulls her back across the field. Richard's grateful, even though he knows there's going to be hell to pay later.

"Aaron?" Richard asks.

"New alias."

Richard feels a sharp pang at what he's missed.

"I think you tore my jacket," Clint says.

"I'll buy you a new one." Richard rubs at the material under his fingers. "If I let go, will you promise not to run?"

"I don't think me staying around is a good idea."

"It is," Richard insists. "It's the best idea. There is no better idea."

Clint stares at him. Richard wonders what he sees.

"You have a family," Clint says. "You have a son."

"I do."

"I shouldn't have come," Clint says.

"Stop saying things like that," Richard says. "Clint, you know it wasn't my choice to leave, don't you? When I woke up my identity had already been burned. I tried to contact SHIELD and Fury-"

"Fucking bastard."

"Fury told me there was nothing he could do. His hands were tied." Richard closes his eyes, feeling the familiar pain of a headache blooming behind his eyes. "Fury depended on me too much; the WSC has been wanting to get rid of me for years."

"You're telling me there's no way you could have gotten in contact?" Clint scoffs.

"I just said-"

"Not with SHIELD," Clint says, "with me."

"The Avengers aren't exactly listed in the phonebook," Richard says.

"And you couldn't have just showed up at the tower? You don't think JARVIS would have let you in?"

Richard licks his lips and tries to choose his words carefully. "I didn't know if I would have been allowed to get that far."

Clint frowns. "The WSC?"

Richard shrugs. "I wouldn't have had any backup, and if I went missing I didn't know how soon it would be before someone noticed. I figured that if I played by their rules I'd have a better chance. So I came back here and hoped that, eventually, one of you would come looking for answers."

"Fury said you'd retired. He said that after coming so close to being killed, you didn't want to have to deal with us anymore."

Richard thinks he's going to have to have some words with Nick Fury. But first he's going to have to get that horrible expression off of Clint's face.

"Fury lies," he says. "A lot. He's turned it into an art form."

Clint's hangdog look melts into a quick grin. It fades, fast, but it was there, and that's what counts.

"I'm surprised he admitted that I was still alive," Richard says.

"Well, we didn't give him a choice," Clint says. "Loki claimed that when he stabbed you, he knew it wasn't a mortal wound. And Thor gets kind of tetchy when Loki's statements are called into question. Which is ridiculous when you consider the guy's nicknames, but what are you gonna do?"

"I..." Richard blinks. "I don't know how to process that. Loki is-"

"In therapy," Clint says. "Thor insisted that Odin tack that onto Loki's punishment." Clint looks pained. "I don't even know, man. Thor's nuts over Dr. Phil, and he makes Tony TiVo reruns of Oprah."

"You just made that up."

"I couldn't if I tried." Clint sighs. "I'm scheduled to go to Asgard in two weeks so Loki can make amends. Fuck if I know what that means."

"On the plus side, you'll be going to another planet."

"Yeah, and on the minus side, I'm pretty sure, from Thor's descriptions, that Asgardian food is gonna make me barf. I've already started taking antacids."

"Poor thing." Richard risks letting go of the jacket, but he stays close, ready to grab on again if need be. "Come home with me."

Clint shakes his head and smiles ruefully. "If you knew how long I've wanted to hear those words..."

"I know I should have said them years ago," Richard says. "Trust me, I have had a pretty harsh crash course in hindsight. But I'm saying them now. Come home with me."

"Phil... What about the WSC?"

"They may have Fury on a leash, but they don't own the Avengers," Phil says. "I'll be safe as long as I'm with you."

Clint cocks his head and gives Richard a wry look. "You said that just to push my buttons, didn't you?"

Richard puts on his blandest Coulson expression. Clint responds with a wide smile, which, like the last one, disappears too fast.

"Phil, what about your wife-"

"Ex," Richard says, swiftly correcting him.

"I'm pretty sure your kid is still current, though."

Richard has already thought of this - he's spent far too many lonely nights plotting how to get his life back. "I'm going to tell them," he says. "All of it. Richie's old enough now, he can handle it. Matthew might not be able to, but hopefully he'll be too busy keeping Christine corralled to dwell on it. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of expression Barb's going to make. I'm also looking forward to introducing Christine to Fury." Richard grins. "That's going to be hilarious."

Clint looks at him funny. "What are you doing with your face?"

"I'm smiling."

"Cut it out," Clint says. "It looks weird."

"Richard smiles."

Clint frowns. "And that's who you are now?"

"Is that a problem?" Richard knows how complicated this might get, and he has no qualms with bringing Phil Coulson back from the dead if that would get Clint to agree to stay with him.

"Depends," Clint says, letting one hand rest gently against Richard's stomach. "how does he feel about slightly worn archers?"

Richard reaches for Clint again, but this time he lets his hands slide under the jacket. Clint's tee shirt is warm and soft, and the flesh it's covering is firm.

"Surprisingly enough, both Richard and Phil have matching opinions on that subject." He moves closer to Clint.

Clint's eyes flit to the side for a moment, then they come back to Richard. "Your family's watching."

"Hmm. Might as well give them something to see." Richard leans in, clearly telegraphing his moves so Clint's not surprised by anything. The kiss isn't perfect, by any means - there's still too much baggage between them for proper passion at the moment - but hearing Christine squawk in the background totally makes up for it.

Clint pulls back slightly and licks his lips. "I think I'm going to enjoy getting to know you, Richard."

"Yeah," Richard says, "I'm awesome."

_____________

And they went on to form the West Coast Avengers and live happily ever after.

Part 2

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

marag.livejournal.com

Hee, the last line totally killed me :D (Both last lines, actually.)

From:

Blah, Blah, Blah...

Avengers xover Fic: The Not So New Adventures of the Old Phil Coulson 1/1

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