![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saoneTitle: All Aquiver (1/1)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
saone77
Fandoms: Avengers movie 'verse, Arrow
Pairing: Gen, though if I write sequels to this, they'll probably turn out Clint/Phil
Summary: Clint doesn't want a sidekick. Phil doesn't care.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware.
Spoilers: Basic plot points for the first couple eps of Arrow
Word Count: 1339
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: So, I apparently have a thing for archers now? I blame Orlando Bloom for obviously starting me on this dark path.
Clint looks at Phil, then to the angry young man shackled to the table in the middle of the holding cell, then back to Phil again.
"But I don't want a sidekick," he whines.
"Sidekick?!" Angry Guy says. "I'm not anyone's fucking-"
"Tough," Phil says succinctly to Clint. "And don't think of him as a sidekick-"
"That's because I'm not a fucking sidekick!"
"Think of him as your protege," Phil continues without batting an eye. "Your extremely violent and vengeance obsessed protege."
Phil carefully puts the plain manila folder he was carrying in the middle of the table, then takes a seat in one of the chairs opposite Angry Guy. He motions for Clint to do the same.
"I don't want one of those either," Clint says as he sits down. "I'm not exactly mentor material, here, Phil." He looks at the Angry Guy. "Right?"
"I don't even know who you are, man." Angry Guy says. His eyes keep darting back to the folder.
Clint takes a sharp, quick breath - which is not a gasp, by the way - and he focuses all his attention on Angry Guy. "What do you mean, you don't know who I am?! Okay, maybe I'm not as flashy as some people I could name, but I've been on the cover of Time, Men's Health, Details, and Sports Illustrated."
Angry Guy shrugs angrily.
"I've been on Letterman, Fallon, and in a cold open skit for SNL."
Angry guy gives Clint a distinctly unimpressed look.
"I have my own action figures!" Clint says. "Multiple action figures. This face is on school supplies. Have you been living under a rock for the past year?"
"A deserted island, actually," Phil says. "For the past five years."
Clint's eyebrows raise. "Seriously?"
Angry Guy scowled.
"We believe that's where Mr. Queen acquired certain skills that he's been using to systematically take out the criminal element in his home town."
"A vigilante, huh?" Clint gives Angry Guy another look.
"It gets better," Phil says. "He's been taking out said criminal element using a bow and arrow." The tiniest hint of a smirk ghosts around Phil's lips.
Clint's eyes narrow. "Pardon?"
"You heard me," Phil said. Yes, he was definitely smirking now.
Clint crosses his arms over his chest and stares at Angry Guy. "So, Queen, is it? You're trying to steal my shtick, huh?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Queen says. "Who the hell are you people? Where's my lawyer?!"
"Aw," Clint says, "he wants a lawyer. That's precious."
Phil glares at him, then gives Queen a placid look. "Your legal representation will be notified shortly, Mr. Queen," he says, "after you've had a chance to mull over our offer."
"I don't need to mull over anything," Queen says icily. "You people detained me without cause. You transported me somewhere against my will. And no one even bothered to read me my Miranda Rights. I'm going to have your badges for this!"
"Miranda Rights," Clint says. "That's just too cute."
"Mr. Queen," Phil says ignoring Clint like a boss, "we have proof that you've been engaging in highly illegal activities including assault and murder. And, not only have you murdered dozens of men, you've left your rather distinctive calling cards sticking out of their various body parts."
Clint whistles softly. "Sloppy, dude. Real sloppy."
"What would you know about it?" Queen asks with a sneer.
Clint gives Phil a sidelong glance. "This is your way of telling me my ego was getting too big, isn't it?"
"Of course not," Phil says. "If Mr. Queen was trying to clean up the streets using a large metal disk, Steve would be sitting in your chair. No, Barton, you being taken down a few pegs is just a pleasantly surprising bonus."
"He loves me," Clint says to Queen. "Really, he does."
"No," Phil says to Queen, "I don't."
Queen folds his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair. "I think you're bluffing," he says. "I think you're bluffing, and stalling, and-
Phil opens the folder and at the very top of a stack of papers is a picture of Queen standing in what looks like a large warehouse holding a bow with a quiver strapped to his back.
Queen looks shaken. "That doesn't prove anything."
Phil raises his eyebrows slightly then moves the first picture to the side revealing another picture, this time of Queen removing a green hoodie. He looks like he has something dark smeared around his eyes.
Queen blanches as Clint snorts.
"That's your disguise? Really?"
"Are you sure you want to open the door to talking about past costuming mistakes, Agent?" Phil asks.
Clint scowls. "How many times do I have to tell you, circus outfits don't count."
"Of course. I forgot." Phil turned his gaze back to Queen. "As I said, we'd like you to mull over our offer. And, if you choose to decline, we'll have your lawyers here for you within an hour. However, I'm afraid we'll also have to turn over any evidence we've acquired to the proper local authorities. I certainly hope there are no leaks in the Sparrow City police department. Could you imagine if these pictures got out to the press?"
Clint huffs out a little laugh. "Glad to know you haven't lost a step, Coulson," he says. "Take the deal, kid. Trust me."
Queen still looks shaken, but he musters up a sneer. "What do you know?"
"Let's just say, you're not the first boy that Phil here has chained to a table and presented with an offer he shouldn't refuse."
Queen gives him a hard stare. It's a good stare, and Clint meets it head on. "And that worked out well, did it?" Queen asks.
"Dude, were you not listening? Action figures."
"I don't want toys," Queen says. "I want to clean up my city."
"And you really think you could accomplish that alone, Mr. Queen?" Phil asks. "Take the offer. Work for us. And we'll help you take care of your father's true legacy."
Queen looks spooked. "How do you-"
"We're SHIELD, Mr. Queen," Phil says. "We know everything." He taps on the open folder. "The offer's in there, along with the other information we've gathered on you, if you're curious. We'll give you some time to look things over and make your decision."
Phil rises from the table and walks to the door. Clint stays at the table a moment longer then follows him. He pauses at the doorway and turns around.
"Hey, kid," Clint says, "SHIELD may be shady as hell, but I've never once regretted joining up. We get shit done that other people, other organizations, can't. Sign the paper so we can get to work, okay?"
The right corner of Queen's mouth ticks upward. "Don't call me kid."
"All right," Clint says with a wink. "Sidekick." He slips out the door and is immediately met by Phil's disapproving face.
"What?" Clint asks.
Phil turns on his heel and starts to walk down the corridor.
"Oh, please," Clint says as he catches up to him and they begin to walk in sync, "don't give me that look. I know the part you wanted me to play, and I think I did it pretty damn well."
"And what part would that be exactly?" Phil asks, bland as ever.
"He's the before picture - angry, hurting, alone - and I'm the after." Clint grins. "A well-adjusted-"
Phil makes a noncommittal noise.
"Happy-go-lucky-"
Phil snorts.
"Card-carrying member of a superhero team."
"Card-carrying?" Phil asks.
"Steve made them for us. They're all fancy. He's learning Photoshop."
They pass by a guard station and step into the elevator that will take them up to ground level.
"And, for the record," Clint says as the doors close, "you totally do love me. Don't front."
Phil makes another noncommittal noise. Clint considers that a victory.
"So, hey," Clint says, "my new sidekick's kind of hot, right?"
"Shut up, Barton."
_____________
end
For now.
Maybe.
Author:
saone77Fandoms: Avengers movie 'verse, Arrow
Pairing: Gen, though if I write sequels to this, they'll probably turn out Clint/Phil
Summary: Clint doesn't want a sidekick. Phil doesn't care.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Not betad, grammarians beware.
Spoilers: Basic plot points for the first couple eps of Arrow
Word Count: 1339
Disclaimer: This is indulgent, cracktastic fiction.
Notes: So, I apparently have a thing for archers now? I blame Orlando Bloom for obviously starting me on this dark path.
Clint looks at Phil, then to the angry young man shackled to the table in the middle of the holding cell, then back to Phil again.
"But I don't want a sidekick," he whines.
"Sidekick?!" Angry Guy says. "I'm not anyone's fucking-"
"Tough," Phil says succinctly to Clint. "And don't think of him as a sidekick-"
"That's because I'm not a fucking sidekick!"
"Think of him as your protege," Phil continues without batting an eye. "Your extremely violent and vengeance obsessed protege."
Phil carefully puts the plain manila folder he was carrying in the middle of the table, then takes a seat in one of the chairs opposite Angry Guy. He motions for Clint to do the same.
"I don't want one of those either," Clint says as he sits down. "I'm not exactly mentor material, here, Phil." He looks at the Angry Guy. "Right?"
"I don't even know who you are, man." Angry Guy says. His eyes keep darting back to the folder.
Clint takes a sharp, quick breath - which is not a gasp, by the way - and he focuses all his attention on Angry Guy. "What do you mean, you don't know who I am?! Okay, maybe I'm not as flashy as some people I could name, but I've been on the cover of Time, Men's Health, Details, and Sports Illustrated."
Angry Guy shrugs angrily.
"I've been on Letterman, Fallon, and in a cold open skit for SNL."
Angry guy gives Clint a distinctly unimpressed look.
"I have my own action figures!" Clint says. "Multiple action figures. This face is on school supplies. Have you been living under a rock for the past year?"
"A deserted island, actually," Phil says. "For the past five years."
Clint's eyebrows raise. "Seriously?"
Angry Guy scowled.
"We believe that's where Mr. Queen acquired certain skills that he's been using to systematically take out the criminal element in his home town."
"A vigilante, huh?" Clint gives Angry Guy another look.
"It gets better," Phil says. "He's been taking out said criminal element using a bow and arrow." The tiniest hint of a smirk ghosts around Phil's lips.
Clint's eyes narrow. "Pardon?"
"You heard me," Phil said. Yes, he was definitely smirking now.
Clint crosses his arms over his chest and stares at Angry Guy. "So, Queen, is it? You're trying to steal my shtick, huh?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Queen says. "Who the hell are you people? Where's my lawyer?!"
"Aw," Clint says, "he wants a lawyer. That's precious."
Phil glares at him, then gives Queen a placid look. "Your legal representation will be notified shortly, Mr. Queen," he says, "after you've had a chance to mull over our offer."
"I don't need to mull over anything," Queen says icily. "You people detained me without cause. You transported me somewhere against my will. And no one even bothered to read me my Miranda Rights. I'm going to have your badges for this!"
"Miranda Rights," Clint says. "That's just too cute."
"Mr. Queen," Phil says ignoring Clint like a boss, "we have proof that you've been engaging in highly illegal activities including assault and murder. And, not only have you murdered dozens of men, you've left your rather distinctive calling cards sticking out of their various body parts."
Clint whistles softly. "Sloppy, dude. Real sloppy."
"What would you know about it?" Queen asks with a sneer.
Clint gives Phil a sidelong glance. "This is your way of telling me my ego was getting too big, isn't it?"
"Of course not," Phil says. "If Mr. Queen was trying to clean up the streets using a large metal disk, Steve would be sitting in your chair. No, Barton, you being taken down a few pegs is just a pleasantly surprising bonus."
"He loves me," Clint says to Queen. "Really, he does."
"No," Phil says to Queen, "I don't."
Queen folds his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair. "I think you're bluffing," he says. "I think you're bluffing, and stalling, and-
Phil opens the folder and at the very top of a stack of papers is a picture of Queen standing in what looks like a large warehouse holding a bow with a quiver strapped to his back.
Queen looks shaken. "That doesn't prove anything."
Phil raises his eyebrows slightly then moves the first picture to the side revealing another picture, this time of Queen removing a green hoodie. He looks like he has something dark smeared around his eyes.
Queen blanches as Clint snorts.
"That's your disguise? Really?"
"Are you sure you want to open the door to talking about past costuming mistakes, Agent?" Phil asks.
Clint scowls. "How many times do I have to tell you, circus outfits don't count."
"Of course. I forgot." Phil turned his gaze back to Queen. "As I said, we'd like you to mull over our offer. And, if you choose to decline, we'll have your lawyers here for you within an hour. However, I'm afraid we'll also have to turn over any evidence we've acquired to the proper local authorities. I certainly hope there are no leaks in the Sparrow City police department. Could you imagine if these pictures got out to the press?"
Clint huffs out a little laugh. "Glad to know you haven't lost a step, Coulson," he says. "Take the deal, kid. Trust me."
Queen still looks shaken, but he musters up a sneer. "What do you know?"
"Let's just say, you're not the first boy that Phil here has chained to a table and presented with an offer he shouldn't refuse."
Queen gives him a hard stare. It's a good stare, and Clint meets it head on. "And that worked out well, did it?" Queen asks.
"Dude, were you not listening? Action figures."
"I don't want toys," Queen says. "I want to clean up my city."
"And you really think you could accomplish that alone, Mr. Queen?" Phil asks. "Take the offer. Work for us. And we'll help you take care of your father's true legacy."
Queen looks spooked. "How do you-"
"We're SHIELD, Mr. Queen," Phil says. "We know everything." He taps on the open folder. "The offer's in there, along with the other information we've gathered on you, if you're curious. We'll give you some time to look things over and make your decision."
Phil rises from the table and walks to the door. Clint stays at the table a moment longer then follows him. He pauses at the doorway and turns around.
"Hey, kid," Clint says, "SHIELD may be shady as hell, but I've never once regretted joining up. We get shit done that other people, other organizations, can't. Sign the paper so we can get to work, okay?"
The right corner of Queen's mouth ticks upward. "Don't call me kid."
"All right," Clint says with a wink. "Sidekick." He slips out the door and is immediately met by Phil's disapproving face.
"What?" Clint asks.
Phil turns on his heel and starts to walk down the corridor.
"Oh, please," Clint says as he catches up to him and they begin to walk in sync, "don't give me that look. I know the part you wanted me to play, and I think I did it pretty damn well."
"And what part would that be exactly?" Phil asks, bland as ever.
"He's the before picture - angry, hurting, alone - and I'm the after." Clint grins. "A well-adjusted-"
Phil makes a noncommittal noise.
"Happy-go-lucky-"
Phil snorts.
"Card-carrying member of a superhero team."
"Card-carrying?" Phil asks.
"Steve made them for us. They're all fancy. He's learning Photoshop."
They pass by a guard station and step into the elevator that will take them up to ground level.
"And, for the record," Clint says as the doors close, "you totally do love me. Don't front."
Phil makes another noncommittal noise. Clint considers that a victory.
"So, hey," Clint says, "my new sidekick's kind of hot, right?"
"Shut up, Barton."
_____________
end
For now.
Maybe.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-10-23 09:49 pm (UTC)Of course! SHIELD knows about all the masked vigilantes!
And of course Steve is learning Photoshop ;D
no subject
Date: 2012-10-23 11:18 pm (UTC)And of course Steve is learning Photoshop ;D
Tony keeps bugging him to print stuff out so he can put it up on the fridge.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-23 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-23 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 07:28 am (UTC)*shifty eyes*
no subject
Date: 2012-10-23 11:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 07:34 am (UTC)I was prepared to not like Arrow, but I was pleasantly surprised by it. And while the new guy is no Justin Hartley, he is super hot and I can be incredibly shallow. ;D
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-23 11:56 pm (UTC)Clint is snarky and sharp and oh boy, do he and Phil do the good cop / bad cop thing well!
Arrow doesn't stand a chance. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 07:36 am (UTC)Arrow doesn't stand a chance.
And if he thought those two were bad, imagine when he meets the rest of the motley crew. ;D
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 05:10 pm (UTC)And he thought having to survive on an island for years was bad....
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 05:40 pm (UTC)He'll be thinking about booking a return ticket if they keep it up ^_~
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 12:42 am (UTC)"Aw," Clint says, "he wants a lawyer. That's precious."
And the conclusion! Seriously, seriously AWESOME fic.
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 07:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 03:34 am (UTC)Awesome.
Clint/Ollie sequel nownownownow :)
no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 03:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 12:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-24 03:15 pm (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2012-10-25 03:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-25 04:12 am (UTC)It's pretty good. Arrow's definitely dark and not at all campy. The tone's more Supernatural than Smallville. And, on a completely shallow note, Steven Arnell provides enough eye candy to help you overlook the plot holes. ;)
no subject
Date: 2012-10-25 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-25 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-26 09:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-26 11:01 am (UTC)lol at the banter. all the characterizations and dialogue was great, and I love that Clint figures out Phil's game.
lololol at steve learning photoshop. to make them avenger cards
favorite lines: "If Mr. Queen was trying to clean up the streets using a large metal disk, Steve would be sitting in your chair. No, Barton, you being taken down a few pegs is just a pleasantly surprising bonus."
"He loves me," Clint says to Queen. "Really, he does."
"No," Phil says to Queen, "I don't."
no subject
Date: 2012-10-26 09:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-27 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-10-28 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-03 04:02 am (UTC)i love your ficlets ♥
no subject
Date: 2012-11-03 04:14 am (UTC)am only peripherally aware of arrow
It's pretty good. Darker than Smallville, and the main character is all hot, and angsty, and hot, and conflicted, and hot. Also, if you're a Who fan, John Barrowman shows up in the fourth episode.
no subject
Date: 2012-11-05 09:14 pm (UTC)(here via crossover_news)
no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-15 08:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-21 02:18 am (UTC)