saone: (brains... braaaains)
[personal profile] saone
So, it seems I wasn't as alright about the whole 'being downsized and then replaced with a cheaper model' thing as I thought I was.

The really sad thing is that I had no idea I was depressed. My past bout with depression back in my late teens was of the severe 'stop staring at those pill bottles' variety that ended up with me in therapy and on Prozac. This time around it was just this general feeling of badness, and malaise. I didn't even realize I was sliding until I had this spectacular meltdown over Christmas. There was crying. Lots of crying. I hate crying.

Since I figured out what was wrong I've been trying to get back on the right track again metally. It's harder than I had hoped it would be.

I'm working on a fic for the first time in almost a year. Writing is... scary. 'Course I've always been my harshest critic.

Jeez, I think I may have met my online maudlin quota for the entire year here. I think I need chocolate after all this. ;P

Date: 2009-01-23 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ant3ka.livejournal.com
Recognizing you needed help was an amazing first step. Things will get better, just remember to take them one day at a time.

Date: 2009-01-23 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-crew-guy.livejournal.com
*HUGS* Glad you're getting the help you need. And any excuse for chocolate. ;P

Date: 2009-01-23 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rifleman-s.livejournal.com
*hugs tight*

So sorry for the meltdown, but delighted to see you back here again.

Writing is scary . . . but also therapeutic, hopefully!

*hugs again*

Date: 2009-01-23 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] violetknights.livejournal.com
Glad to see you back, i had my meltdown back in march so i can sypathise. Writing again is a good thing, hopefully it will help you work some stuff out. And \o/ chocolate - it helps!

Date: 2009-01-24 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wirrrn.livejournal.com

:big damn hugs:

btw- yaaay fic!

Date: 2009-01-25 05:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saone77.livejournal.com
but also therapeutic, hopefully!

Mmmm, yes I find thinking up stories about pretty boys very therapeutic. ;D

Date: 2009-01-25 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saone77.livejournal.com
i had my meltdown back in march so i can sympathize

*wince* I don't think 2008 was a good year for anyone's mental health.

Writing again is a good thing, hopefully it will help you work some stuff out.

Actually, what's coming out is the shmoopiest kind of shmoop, so I don't know about working stuff out, but it does make me feel all nice and gooey inside. *g*

Date: 2009-01-25 06:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saone77.livejournal.com
big damn hugs

thanks :)

btw- yaaay fic!

I'm afraid what I'm working on now is going to turn out horribly sappy. And no one is even going to get naked. *hangs head in shame*

Date: 2009-01-25 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saone77.livejournal.com
Things already are better. Since I realized what was going on I've been able to recognize when I'm slipping and put myself back on track.
I'm one of those people who's always 'fine'. I just have to remember not to believe my own hype. ;)

Date: 2009-01-25 06:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saone77.livejournal.com
And any excuse for chocolate

Chocolate and anti-depressants: breakfast of champions... or at least people of our generation. ;)

Date: 2009-01-25 06:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wirrrn.livejournal.com

Microfics, dude! I just did a bunch of Harry/Cedric ones on my LJ (hint hint go now)

btw-Who belongs to those purdy shoulder blades in your icon?

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