(no subject)
Jan. 23rd, 2009 02:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saoneSo, it seems I wasn't as alright about the whole 'being downsized and then replaced with a cheaper model' thing as I thought I was.
The really sad thing is that I had no idea I was depressed. My past bout with depression back in my late teens was of the severe 'stop staring at those pill bottles' variety that ended up with me in therapy and on Prozac. This time around it was just this general feeling of badness, and malaise. I didn't even realize I was sliding until I had this spectacular meltdown over Christmas. There was crying. Lots of crying. I hate crying.
Since I figured out what was wrong I've been trying to get back on the right track again metally. It's harder than I had hoped it would be.
I'm working on a fic for the first time in almost a year. Writing is... scary. 'Course I've always been my harshest critic.
Jeez, I think I may have met my online maudlin quota for the entire year here. I think I need chocolate after all this. ;P
The really sad thing is that I had no idea I was depressed. My past bout with depression back in my late teens was of the severe 'stop staring at those pill bottles' variety that ended up with me in therapy and on Prozac. This time around it was just this general feeling of badness, and malaise. I didn't even realize I was sliding until I had this spectacular meltdown over Christmas. There was crying. Lots of crying. I hate crying.
Since I figured out what was wrong I've been trying to get back on the right track again metally. It's harder than I had hoped it would be.
I'm working on a fic for the first time in almost a year. Writing is... scary. 'Course I've always been my harshest critic.
Jeez, I think I may have met my online maudlin quota for the entire year here. I think I need chocolate after all this. ;P
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Date: 2009-01-23 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-25 06:22 am (UTC)I'm one of those people who's always 'fine'. I just have to remember not to believe my own hype. ;)
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Date: 2009-01-23 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-25 06:24 am (UTC)Chocolate and anti-depressants: breakfast of champions... or at least people of our generation. ;)
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Date: 2009-01-23 10:14 pm (UTC)So sorry for the meltdown, but delighted to see you back here again.
Writing is scary . . . but also therapeutic, hopefully!
*hugs again*
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Date: 2009-01-25 05:54 am (UTC)Mmmm, yes I find thinking up stories about pretty boys very therapeutic. ;D
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Date: 2009-01-23 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-25 06:06 am (UTC)*wince* I don't think 2008 was a good year for anyone's mental health.
Writing again is a good thing, hopefully it will help you work some stuff out.
Actually, what's coming out is the shmoopiest kind of shmoop, so I don't know about working stuff out, but it does make me feel all nice and gooey inside. *g*
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Date: 2009-01-24 05:29 am (UTC):big damn hugs:
btw- yaaay fic!
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Date: 2009-01-25 06:08 am (UTC)thanks :)
btw- yaaay fic!
I'm afraid what I'm working on now is going to turn out horribly sappy. And no one is even going to get naked. *hangs head in shame*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-25 06:43 am (UTC)Microfics, dude! I just did a bunch of Harry/Cedric ones on my LJ (hint hint go now)
btw-Who belongs to those purdy shoulder blades in your icon?